如何在第一次约会就制胜

首先,忘掉所有你以前听说的没头没尾的约会技巧。接着,准备把他忽略。然后,完完全全的让你自己享受其中,享受当下。

没有比在第一次约会前听到的意见更坏更杂乱的了——穿这个,说那个,然后在这个情况下不要说这个——一切都是为了打动那个至今连你自己都不确定会不会去喜欢的男生。

这些所谓的建议和提醒不光让你约会索然无味(难道使自己开心愉悦不是去约会的目的嘛?!),而且很有可能最终让结尾变得很难看。谁愿意看到一个阿谀奉承,处处讨好,词语模式化的女生。只是由于你要一味地去遵循那些约会守则,你失去了真实的你。而真实的你,恰恰是比千篇一律的约会教学会话更能打动别人的。

对于成功的第一次约会,最有效的技巧就是带着享受的目地,尽情释放你自己,而不是为了赢得他而一条条的遵守着约会守则。那样,你会更放松谐趣,而这些也显然是吸引人的性格。

活在当下

如果当你和这个男生一见面就对上眼了,很自然的你的脑袋里就刻画出未来蓝图——他是那个我一直等待的人嘛?就此打住!不要多想,不然你不会体会到乐趣。如果你在刚和男生遇到时就想那么多,那你在接下去的夜晚就会反复衡量你们之间的可能性,困扰于你到底该不该再见他。这阻止了你完全投入的享受当下所经历的。这使你没有像你本应该投入的投入那么多。

提醒你自己这只是一个晚上,然后好好享受,顺其自然。初次约会是一个试验,看看你们两个是否会有火花,不然就各奔东西。即使你们之间磁场没有对头,这个夜晚也绝对不是场浪费。 你应该或多或少对此种男生有了一些见底,也在你的约会史中留下一笔记录。

得体的诚实
顺其自然做本色的你自己并不等于说你可以告诉他上个礼拜你和你前男友之间所进行的夸张赤裸的对话,或者向他承认你私处有感染。但是如果你和一个男生之间的谈话可以像你和其他朋友一样那么自然随意,你们的约会会发展的越来越好。这保证了约会看上去不像一个工作面试,你可以提及之前工作时候发生的一些趣事,或者说你朋友和她前男友之间发生的疯狂的举动。

当与一个会袒露自己内心的人交流时,我们很本能的去信任他,去感受到亲近。有一种心理学上的技巧叫做负面揭露(negative revelation): 研究表明,袒露自己一个小缺陷(例如畏高症)会使别人喜欢你,在围绕你左右时感觉到自在舒适,因为他们觉得你很生活化。

你甚至可以承认,在你第一天的约会时,你有那么小小一点的紧张。承认出这点可以让他更配合你,消除尴尬,让你自己更自信因为你已经不害怕袒露了,你要准备积极面对了!

稍微放纵自己一下
展现你活泼开朗有点野的个性——当你们两个单独驾车在路上时哼唱你最喜欢的歌,或者告诉他你去夜店时会偷偷溜进VIP专区。

会有放纵时刻证明你是个有活力热情和个性的人。而且事实上,这种举动并不是初次约会大家都预料到的。抛弃矜持和假惺惺的客气,交流自己以前做过的出格的傻事反而帮助你们周围的气氛变的更开心放松。刺激,小破规矩——现在终于有点听出开心约会的意思来了!

立即尝试这个诀窍——对任何人

这是世界上最直观的东西:一个微妙的肢体语言移动称作镜像,即复制一个人的立场和姿态。 “呼应一个人刺激了对方的大脑细胞,使之感到特殊的感情”马克·伊阿科博尼博士说,“这些细胞发出了你们两个正同步的信号。”无论是在你想给新老板留下深刻印象的场合,还是你想要打动你的晚餐伴侣,这个技巧都管用。

在约会时:在无意识的状态下,镜子一样的同步动作理论是最有效的,同样的,在热烈投入的谈话中也会发生。你会自然而然渐渐的开始跟上他的节奏。好比说,当他倾斜向前你也不自觉的向前。注意他是不是也在模仿你,如果是的话,或多或少有几率他是喜欢你的。

当模仿一个人时,不要太过明显和一致——例如:当一个男生拿起他的酒杯,稍等片刻,然后用与他相反的手拿起你的杯子。

镜面细胞对声音也有反应。在和他谈话时,尝试着配合你的声调和节奏。如果他讲话语速比你快的话,你就也加快一点。

6 种在你初次约会时不能点的食物

1. 番茄酱和一大盘乱糟糟的意大利面
2. 奶油大蒜焗蜗牛
3. 任何油炸食品
4. 蔬菜色拉,加低热量色拉油
5. 豆子辣椒酱
6. 烤鸡翅

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 and is filed under 美容保养. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “如何在第一次约会就制胜”

  1. Nadine

    Super post, Need to mark it on Digg
    Have a nice day
    Nadine

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